Intentions, Not Resolutions: A Holistic Approach to Change

Stephanie Dunn, LPC, NBCC

Intentions, Not Resolutions: A Holistic Approach to Change

Why New Year’s Resolutions Feel So Heavy

Every January, the same pressure quietly settles in. New year, new goals, new version of yourself. Resolutions start flying. Lose weight, make more money, be more productive, finally get it together. On the surface, it all sounds motivating. But as a therapist, and as a human living in the real world, I don’t recommend setting New Year’s resolutions.

Is Wanting Change Healthy?

That might sound surprising. After all, isn’t growth a good thing? Isn’t wanting change healthy?

The Problem with Resolutions Isn’t Growth—It’s the Foundation

The problem isn’t the desire to grow. It’s the way resolutions are usually built. They tend to be rigid, rushed, and rooted in the belief that something about you needs fixing. They often ignore context,your nervous system, your past year, your emotional capacity, your season of life. And because of that, most resolutions quietly fall apart by February, leaving behind guilt, shame, and a familiar inner voice saying, “I should have tried harder.”

Looking Deeper Than Behavior

Resolutions focus on outcomes without asking deeper questions. They zoom in on behavior without understanding what’s underneath it. They ask, “What should I do differently?” without asking, “What do I actually need?” or “What kind of life am I trying to build?”

A More Supportive Approach: Setting Intentions

A more supportive approach is setting clear intentions.

Intentions vs. Resolutions: What’s the Difference?

Intentions are different. They are not about forcing change or controlling outcomes. They’re about alignment. An intention begins with curiosity and honesty. It asks you to slow down and reflect on what you want to feel, experience, or embody, and not just what you want to achieve. It allows growth to be shaped by meaning instead of pressure.

Choosing Direction Without Declaring War on Yourself

When you set an intention, you’re not declaring war on who you are. You’re choosing a direction. Something like, “I want to feel more grounded in my body,” or “I want to move through my days with less urgency,” or “I want my relationships to feel more authentic.” These intentions leave room for flexibility and compassion. They adapt as you do.

A Holistic View of Change: Your Whole Life Is Connected

From a holistic perspective, this matters deeply. You don’t live your life in separate compartments. Your mental health, physical energy, emotional patterns, relationships, work, and sense of purpose are all connected. When you chase goals without understanding how they impact your whole system, something usually gets sacrificed. This can include rest, connection, joy, or self-trust.

Manifesting What You Desire Takes More Than Positive Thinking

Manifesting what you desire isn’t about vision boards alone or thinking positively enough. It’s about clarity, embodiment, and consistency. It starts with getting honest about what you truly want, not what you think you should want, or what looks good on paper, or what others expect of you.

When Goals Don’t Support Your Nervous System

If a goal doesn’t support your nervous system, your values, or your capacity, it will eventually create resistance. You might push through for a while, but burnout, avoidance, or self-criticism often follow. That’s not failure, it’s feedback, providing you vital information for living the most fulfilled life.

The Deeper Question Behind Every Goal

A more sustainable way to approach goals is to ask deeper questions. What do I want this goal to give me? More freedom? More safety? More confidence? More connection? Once you understand the why, you can explore multiple paths to meet that need instead of clinging to one rigid outcome.

Examples of Intentions Beneath Common Goals

For example, if your goal is to make more money, the deeper desire might be security or ease. If your goal is to exercise more, the deeper desire might be to feel strong or at home in your body. When you lead with the deeper intention, your choices become more aligned and less punishing.

Honoring Timing and Seasons of Life

This approach also honors timing. Not every season of life is meant for pushing forward. Some seasons are for integration, healing, rest, or recalibration. Resolutions rarely account for grief, stress, trauma, or transition. Intentions can hold all of that.

Meaningful Change Doesn’t Require Self-Criticism

As a holistic therapist, I believe meaningful change happens when we work with ourselves instead of against ourselves. Growth doesn’t require self-criticism. It requires awareness, patience, and support. When your goals are rooted in self-understanding rather than self-rejection, they become far more powerful, and much more sustainable.

If Resolutions Didn’t Work Before, It Doesn’t Mean You Failed

If you find yourself feeling discouraged by resolutions from your past, it doesn’t mean you lack discipline. It may simply mean the approach never fit you in the first place. You’re allowed to choose a different way.

You Don’t Need a New Year — You Need Space

You don’t need a new year to become someone new. You need space to listen, reflect, and move forward with intention. And sometimes, having support as you sort through that process can make all the difference.

Therapy Can Be a Space for Clarity and Alignment

If you’re craving clarity, balance, or a deeper sense of alignment in your life, therapy can be a space to explore that. With the absence of pressure to fix or force anything. You deserve growth that feels grounded, compassionate, and true to who you are.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What’s the difference between an intention and a New Year’s resolution?

Resolutions are usually outcome-driven and rigid. Intentions are values-driven and supportive, focusing on how you want to feel and what you want to embody. If you want help clarifying what you actually need this season, therapy can be a steady place to explore that. Explore Stef’s therapy services → https://www.stefdunn.com/services

Why do my resolutions fall apart every year, even when I’m motivated?

Often, the goal isn’t the problem — the approach is. If a goal ignores your nervous system, stress level, emotional capacity, or season of life, it can lead to burnout, avoidance, or self-criticism. Therapy can help you understand what’s underneath the pattern so that change becomes sustainable.

Schedule a free 30-minute phone consultation → https://www.stefdunn.com/service-page/free-30-minute-phone-consultation

How do I set goals without burning out or turning on myself?

Start with the deeper question: what do you want the goal to give you—ease, safety, confidence, freedom, or connection? When you lead with the “why,” you can choose supportive steps that fit your life instead of forcing an outcome.

Book a session → https://www.stefdunn.com/book-online

What does my nervous system have to do with motivation and follow-through?

A lot. When your system feels overwhelmed, you may notice urgency, shutdown, avoidance, perfectionism, or a harsh inner voice. That’s not failure—it’s information. Holistic therapy can help you work with your system, not against it.

Learn more about Stef’s approach → https://www.stefdunn.com/about

Do I need therapy if I’m not in crisis, but I feel “off” or out of alignment?

No crisis required. Therapy can be a space for clarity, grounding, and recalibration—especially if you’re tired of pressure-based change and want something more compassionate and true to you.

Reach out here → https://www.stefdunn.com/contact

How is holistic therapy different from traditional talk therapy for men?

Holistic therapy goes beyond talk. It includes somatic practices, mindfulness, energy work, and body awareness—meeting men where they are emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It also honors the masculine experience without pathologizing it.

How does Stef Dunn support men in working with vulnerability and emotional healing?

Stef creates a grounded, nonjudgmental space where men can safely explore emotions, identity, and personal growth. Her approach honors the masculine experience while gently inviting deeper self-awareness, emotional resilience, and inner alignment through body-based practices, mindfulness, and holistic therapy.

What types of therapy does Stef offer for men who are ready to begin healing?

Stef offers individual therapy sessions for adult men seeking a more intuitive, integrated approach to mental health. Her work includes somatic therapy, energy-based tools, and mindfulness to support clients in moving through stress, grief, trauma, or burnout. You can reach out for a discovery call to explore what feels right for you.

Where is Stef Dunn located?

Stef provides holistic mental health support from 2 Village Square, New Hope, Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Services are available virtually, making them accessible to clients across the region and beyond.

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